


You of Yesterday

by hyxngwo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-09-21 08:31:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17040347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyxngwo/pseuds/hyxngwo
Summary: Hoseok is unhappily married to a woman and has been for the last seven years. He was in love when he married her but soon fell out of love, but doesn't know how to tell her.When Hoseok one day meets a younger boy, the cousin of his best friend, he's instantly drawn to the boy and decides to make some decisions that he knows will end up hurting people around him.





	1. Chapter 1

the house was cold, even if the heaters were trying their best. waking up too early on the weekend, only so he could escape the body that was still sleeping in the room on the other side of the wall. doing everything he could to escape her. overworking himself at work. waking up too early and going to bed too late on the weekends. always looking for something to do in the day. all that just to avoid her. reminding himself that he doesn't love her anymore. 

the coffee was hot against his tongue but he tried to ignore the stinging feeling it left behind. the sound of bare feet against the floor sounded behind him, despite how early it was and he cursed himself for making too much noise. a pair of slim arms wrapped around his waist and a smaller body was pressed against him. a head resting in between his shoulder blades. exhaling slowly before putting on a smile and placing the mug back onto the counter, turning around to unwillingly throw his arms around the woman.

he didn't hate her. far from. but he hated how he didn't love her anymore. hated how he wanted to avoid the physical contact she loved so much. he also didn't hate physical contact. in fact it was a favour of his. but having to hold someone that you don't love anymore, trying to still convince the other that you do, was too much for hoseok and he never stopped thinking about how bad he felt.

she nuzzled her face into his chest, her arms getting tighter in their grip while hoseok's got lighter. 

"are you going anywhere today?" her voice was low and giving away signs of still not being fully awake. hoseok never knew if he always managed to wake her up when he stood from the bed the second he himself woke up, and she just didn't make herself present. and maybe this had happened so many times that she suddenly decided to get up with him. also noticing how she would stay up a little longer than her body was able to. she missed him. it was clear to see. 

to avoid more of the hug, hoseok only walked over to the fridge, acting like he was looking for breakfast. her eyes clearly following his every movement. he never looked her in the eyes anymore. couldn't make himself do it. it was too much for him to see how she was still head over heels for him thinking he was too. 

"hyunwoo is taking us all out" coming back to the counter to curl his fingers around the mug's handle again. sipping lightly at the still warm liquid. a little cooler now and not burning the tongue at it's contact. she lightly sighed and went around the counter to sit on one of the barstools placed against it. still having trouble of getting up on it with her height. missing the extra centimetres her usual heels granted her. 

hoseok made another cup on coffee and handed it to her. eyes slightly open, still adjusting to the slight light in the kitchen. thankfully taking the cup and lifting it to her thin lips and immediately sipping from it. not as sensitive as hoseok to hot things.

"so you're home the whole day?" she had always been good to read through the lines. knowing that "taking us all out" always meant for dinner and dinner only. the excuse had been used a lot and she had always payed attention to everything happening around her, so it wasn't surprising how she knew exactly the time. "yes but i'm planning on working a bit" hoseok finished his cup of coffee and placed it in the sink. opening the fridge and grabbing an apple, biting into it and letting the loud sound resonate the room.

"baby  _please_. we never spend time anymore. i miss you and it feels like you're avoiding me" hoseok's heart sank a little as he avoided her eyes. fixing them on a spot on the counter, suddenly fully interested in it. enough for him to take his time to wipe it away before sighing as an answer. walking around the her to throw his arms around her. placing a kiss on her forehead that lasted just a little longer than hoseok had wanted it to. watching how a smile spread on her lips and hoseok forced himself to do the same.

he honestly wanted to just escape this whole thing. he felt so trapped in this marriage and he couldn't see a way out. too big of a coward to own up to his feelings. not daring to tell her how he hadn't loved her for four years now. four years. it had really been four whole years of living a lie. it all being so completely fake that she couldn't even see it. she was blind. she must be. hoseok wasn't the same as when they got married. he was all happy and never been able to keep his hands off of her. finding every excuse he could to be with her. and now it was the complete opposite. but maybe it had been so many years of the same behaviour, that she truly believed that was how hoseok actually was.

every day, he thought about sitting down with her and having to tell her that he didn't love her anymore. it would break her heart and even more when she found out how many years it had been like that. hoseok wants to believe that one of the reasons he's still staying with her, is because he believes he's too old to marry again. didn't want to waste time on finding someone new when he already have someone that loved him. it hurt, not loving her back. having to live through a marriage so plain.

"i'm not avoiding you. i'm just busy" lies. it was all just lies. every single thing he let out. the "i love you" he always had to force out. it was all straight up lies and it had become so common that he would hold himself from speaking the truth. sometimes lying just because that it was what he was best at. 

 the sun had started to rise outside, hoseok taking it as a cue to flee into his office and hide behind the computer. watching how she went back to bed. not wanting to bother trying. almost like she had completely given up over time. 

deciding to drown himself in more work, wanting to use every excuse for not leaving the room before he had to meet hyunwoo. not wanting to notice how he wasted his life away in work he didn't have to do. he wasn't assigned to do it, he never was. yet he always insisted on it. taking on colleague's work, finding everything he could do. he was getting stressed and he knew it. yet he had a choice to not be if he just owned up to everything. wanting to let out a scream of build up frustrations and emotions. 

it was all taking years of his life and he decided not to mind it. he knew that if he only told her, he wouldn't have to sit there now. he didn't have to only sleep five hours every night of the week. he didn't have to suffer, but he chose to anyway because he didn't want her to be the one suffering. 

just sitting back into the chair and let himself be swallowed in work for the rest of the day. ignoring all of the sounds that came from outside of the room as he innerly wished they never would've been there.

-

she always silently strolled around the house. you would never know where she was with the light footsteps of hers. the weight of her body seeming like it was nonexistent. ending up scaring hoseok when she suddenly stood in the door to the shared bedroom. watching how hoseok pulled the white turtleneck over his head. making her way to him, getting up on her toes to quickly fix his hair as she placed a kiss to his lips on her way down. forcing hoseok to quickly look her in the eyes. 

"don't come home too late" putting on a fake smile and wanting to say that he couldn't promise anything, he only kept his mouth shut and kissed the pale forehead. "i love you" not wanting to answer her, hoseok only walked through the house to go put on shoes and jacket. well aware that she was trailing right behind him. he was way too early but he was done with work and just needed something to distract himself with. hyunwoo himself was always a little early too so he saw it as a good opportunity to leave early. 

her arms slipped around his waist again, preventing him of leaving and hoseok had no other choice than to do the same. a hand going to her hair to run through it. it being impossible as she had such long hair, almost just wanting it to be short so it was so easy to go through. there was so much hair that he didn't even bother. kissing her lips quickly before telling her that he had to leave. he tried not to notice the sigh that escaped past her lips, not wanting to overthink anything. only smiling at her before closing the front door behind him. 

no one had used the car for a few days, making it seem all cold and empty. he didn't mind it though. even preferred it that way. the neighbourhood was calm and silent but the city had already become quite busy. people filling out the streets and cars the road. it was all to be expected on a saturday evening, but hoseok still groaned at all the cars wanting to pass each other. you could see the outline of the sun going down behind some of the buildings, throwing a beautiful color over the whole city and hoseok absolutely loved it. loved going out to just go around and see the city. or the nature surrounding it. 

he could already tell that the restaurant was getting packed by the way it was quite hard to find a parking spot. recognizing the car he ended up parking besides. minhyuk's. a smile stretching on his lips as he thought about the guy. finally getting to see him again after not having had any kind of contact for a few weeks. opening the door to the restaurant and instantly letting the sounds of people's words out into the air outside. so many of them that they were all mixed together in the air. immediately spotting hyunwoo sitting at a table in a corner, a few of the other guys there already too. 

smiling at all of them as he came to sit down, being met by a few greetings and a deep hug from minhyuk who had clearly missed him too. hoseok could tell that they were missing a few people still, not blaming them as they were all quite early. 

but besides a few people still missing, there was an extra person. a rather young looking guy sitting besides minhyuk. not really talking and looking quite uncomfortable. his gaze focused on the window on the opposite side of the room. minhyuk nudged the guy in the side to gain his attention. his eyes leaving the window to meet minhyuk's. his eyes then immediately darting towards hoseok. a smile stretching on the guy's lips as he stretched out a hand for hoseok to grab.

"hi sorry, my name is hyungwon. i'm minhyuk's cousin" hoseok greeted him back with a smile. introducing himself before he let go of the hand completely.

it would be an understatement to say that hoseok was completely mesmerized by the boy. he looked absolutely beautiful and his smile looking like it was worth a million. his eyes beautifully shimmering in the light and his  _lips._ so incredibly plump that they almost looked unnatural. they looked beyond soft and hoseok knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help but wanting to feel them. 

he was absolutely drawn to the unknown boy and he just wanted to know so much more about him. couldn't help stealing glances at him from time to time, not wanting to keep his eyes on for too long but still feeling the cravings of wanting to look at him until there was nothing more to look at. not noticing the rest of the guys arriving as he was so captivated of the boy. 

he looked young and it scared hoseok a little.

but someone sat down beside him suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts and his eyes landed on changkyun. the guy taking off his coat before greeting hoseok and the other's. draining out the sounds of the other's and finding his attention that was on hyungwon, again. 

it was hard to describe the boy's beauty. hoseok had never seen anyone this beautiful and he tried to convince himself that that was the only reason he was so drawn to the stranger. 

but hoseok remembers traveling to paris a few years back. remembering the hours in louvre. he was prettier than them. hyungwon. he was prettier than all the paintings that was hung there. the paintings that was worth millions. he was so captivated in the boy and it felt weird. his smile and his eyes. you could go swimming in them. the way he only sat there and silently listened to everyone else, it seemed so interesting. his small movements when he would put his head in his hands, a smile stretching on his lips when minhyuk would nudge his side trying to wake him up a little.

"hyungwon can i ask, how old are you?" the boy lifted his head a little, his eyes meeting hoseok's. clearing his throat for a second, easy to tell that he was shy. it was quite cute. but the boy put on a smile nevertheless and the eyes of his turned into small moons that hoseok couldn't help but adore. "twenty" the words rolled so easily off his tongue, like it was normal for him. like he was always asked that question, but he surely didn't blame him when minhyuk was thirteen years older.

hoseok nodded understandingly, turning to the menu that had been handed to him. trying not the focus more on the boy than necessary. 

changkuyn started talking to him about some work, and he was partly glad as it was a distraction. he shouldn't be thinking so much about such a young boy but he was beyond fascinated.

a waiter came to ask for their orders, stopping changykun in his words and making all of them focus on her. hyungwon ended up being the last person to speak and it was easy to tell how embarrassed he was being the only one speaking. having all of them focus on him. his voice became a little lower and he almost choked on his own voice as he tried not to stutter.

hoseok found it absolutely adorable and had to look down to not show anyone his smile. especially hyungwon as he would think it was because he was laughing at him. not wanting to make the boy even more nervous and embarrassed than he already was. 

minhyuk kept trying to bring hyungwon into the conversation, but the boy wasn't warming up and it didn't look like he was even trying. just wanting the night to be over so he could get home and never see them again. would be a shame to never see that pretty face again though.

needing some fresh air, hoseok stood up to smile at the others. his eyes meeting hyungwon's as the boy followed him just like all the other. his smile growing a little softer as he looked at the boy. leaving the table behind and going outside. the air was chilly but he didn't really mind it. leaning against the building and throwing his arms over his chest. closing his eyes for a second. 

a few minutes passing before he heard the door to the restaurant open again and a body placed itself besides him. opening his eyes again and meeting the sight of hyungwon's long and slender body. his eyes watching the clouds above them. his eyes following them slowly float over the sky at the tempo of the wind. 

"i needed some air. don't think it was because i felt bad that you had to be out here alone" hoseok let out a chuckle as he shook his head, turning to hyungwon to focus on the boy. his eyes sliding over his whole body, noticing how thin and tall he was. hyungwon's eyes met his own and they shared a stare. it being longer than any of them had expected because for some reason, none of them could tear their glance away. hyungwon exhaling harshly before being the first to look away.

"so, minhyuk never mentioned he had a cousin" hyungwon's head turned to the ground, focusing on a stone on the pavement, lightly kicking to it as he watched it roll away. sliding over the curb and gently down on the road. throwing his arms over this chest just like hoseok, playing with the concrete with his foot before figuring out what he should say. "my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to study in seoul, but we really couldn't afford anything up here so i was sent to live with minhyuk. either until i finish my studies or until i can afford an apartment" hyungwon kept looking around. studying the city and the buildings around him. 

the city was obviously new to him, but it seemed like it wasn't exactly a stranger to him either. seeming like he already knew about the city life and hoseok only grew more interested in the boy in front of him. wanting to keep asking about everything to get more than the answer he wanted. study his movements as he answered, everything seeming absolutely flawless as the slim body did what it was used to do.

find out if the movements changed with every person or every relationship. if the voice hyungwon was using now was a voice he used for strangers to seem more confident and dominant, or if his shyness was just because the people around him were new. 

"where are you from?" hyungwon's head turned slightly to try and find hoseok's face, a smile growing on the ever so plump lips as he was reminded of his hometown. probably already missing everything there. "gwangju. but i like it here. i kind of like how busy everything is. automatically giving you an excuse to act like you're going somewhere" there was some kind of depth in the boy's voice. like there was some kind of meaning to his words and it was certain there was. hoseok was curious and it was easy to tell on his face, glad that hyungwon wasn't looking at him so he could see it.

though the younger knew that hoseok was staring at him mercilessly. being used to getting stares, but this one was different. he didn't dare look back at hoseok as last time he did, his heart fluttered. not wanting it to happen again so he kept his eyes on anything else. but that only granted hoseok the option of never tearing his away from hyungwon. shamelessly staring at him like that.

"i'm studying law, as my mom wanted, but i'm trying to look for a model job" deciding to spare the older the breath of asking him, hyungwon just answered the obvious following question. well knowing that hoseok was actually curious, and probably the only one that night that seemed interested in him. in more than one way of course. "i know a few people. maybe i could ask around and find you a job. i doubt it'll be hard" hyungwon finally turned his head to hoseok, his eyes clearly lighting up as a smile graced his beautiful lips. the mole on the bottom one becoming more visible.

"thank god. then i'd actually be able to afford something so i won't have to sleep on minhyuk's couch the next three years" hyungwon let out a chuckle as he fished for his phone in his pocket. hoseok doing the same as he was given hyungwon's number. telling the younger that he would make sure to find him a job. 

the door opened again and minhyuk came out. telling them that the food was there and bringing them inside again. coming to sit down and eat with the others, though hoseok secretly wished that he could've spent the rest of the night talking to the younger boy. 

hyungwon being so oddly interesting, hard to pinpoint exactly why, but maybe it was his pretty face fitting so well with the words coming out of his mouth. or simply just the way he thought. obviously, hoseok hadn't gotten to see much of it, but maybe that was what drew him to hyungwon so much.

he knew he shouldn't be this interested in a boy that was fourteen years younger than him, especially also because hoseok was married. but after seeing the boy for the first time, he forgot everything about her. like she had never existed in his life, and hoseok loved how hyungwon could simply do that to him. make him forget about the problems that was waiting for him at home. he couldn't run from the problems himself but maybe hyungwon could make him forget.

he kept on watching the beautiful boy through the evening. not wanting to miss a single thing he did. wanting to hear more of his voice, but hyungwon kept it all to a minimum.

-

it was always the same feeling he had whenever he parked the car at the houses the feeling of defeat and a little bit of loneliness. he knew that she was waiting inside. possibly and hopefully already asleep. still wanting to avoid every possible contact or conversation. 

but she wasn't. she wasn't sleeping and the first hint of it was how the sound of a tv was still coming from the small living room. his eyes falling onto the body that was sitting on the couch, watching whatever was playing on the tv. catching himself in actually wishing that it had been the young boy from earlier, who was occupying the couch. 

as she noticed him in the doorframe, a smile caught onto her lips and she patted the empty space beside her. signalling for him to come sit down. feeling how a small breath slipped past his lips silently, he came to sit down and immediately felt her lay on top of him. resting her head on his thigh and looking up at him. hoseok still refusing to meet her eyes as he uninterested watched what was on the tv. 

a hand reaching up to cup his chin as best as she could from her position, obviously trying to gain the attention of her husband but to no avail. 

at this point hoseok didn't actually care if she started questioning everything. it would all be so easier. but it never went like that and probably only because she didn't want to leave as she still clearly loved him with her whole heart. just like when they met each other. 

"i've thought about something" hoseok unwillingly looked down to meet her eyes. a smile on her lips. hoseok found the remote that was laying a little further from him and turned off the volume of the tv so she could speak freely. she hummed a little before looking back up at hoseok, her smile growing a little wider. "should we get kids?" hoseok had always expected that question to come up, but somehow it still caught him off guard. 

"absolutely not" it came out a little harsher than it was supposed to, so he tried laughing it off but when her expression didn't change he knew it was too late. but even if it came out a little harsh, he meant it. if they suddenly ended up with kids, he was never going to be able to tell her. it would trap him more than he already was and he felt like running off completely. it would be better for her as well.

"since when have you not wanted kids?" it was a big surprise for her for some reason. always believing that he had wanted kids in the near future, even if he had never spoken about it. he seemed like someone who would be so excited to get his own kids, as he was generally really good with them. seeming like such a person kids instantly loved. and he was. he loved kids and loved playing with them. he just didn't want his own. 

"i know it's too late to say that now, i'm sorry" she was obviously sulky as she sat up, avoiding hoseok's eyes and just looked at the tv. hoseok never mentioned it, but he also never spoked about wanting to get some, so he really couldn't understand why she was suddenly so surprised. she only stood up and went out to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee.

hoseok following behind and watched her as she made it, knowing it was a bad idea to drink some this late. but maybe also because he knew that it meant that she was going to stay up with him. he knew that she obviously wanted to keep talking, but he was tired and wanted to escape everything, turning away and just going to their shared bedroom. hearing her call for him from the kitchen but just ignoring it.

the past months, hoseok had really been exhausted from trying to act like he still cared. trying to act like he wasn't so lonely and stressed all the time. just needing to lay down and sleep until his body would completely give out. 

quickly undressing before carefully crawling under the covers, not bothering turning off the lamp on the bedside table. just closing his eyes and wishing he could stay alone in the bed for the rest of the night so he didn't have to think about the unwanted body heat that would later join his own.

and just maybe, hoseok hoped that if anything. it would be hyungwon.

 


	2. Chapter 2

the morning after, hoseok woke up alone. his mind instantly racing to the boy from yesterday. not bothering even asking himself where she could be.

now that he was laying alone in the bed, no other person to share it with and not like it seemed there would be before the night later, he took a little bit of extra time to just lay in it and enjoy its feeling. taking his phone to scroll through it before getting out and immediately going to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee.

a note was hanging on the machine, having been clever and known exactly where she would make sure he would see it. the note informing him shortly that she was out with a few friends and was coming back later in the evening, and for a second hoseok was beyond confused before he realized that he had slept to noon.

his mind stayed on hyungwon, how he had promised him that he could find him a job, and instantly hoseok suddenly had an excuse to work. he didn't need any excuses though. not when she wasn't home. he had the whole house and he could do everything he wanted to, instead of closing himself inside that office. but right now, it felt like a better idea.

knowing who was working themselves on a sunday and therefore knowing exactly who to call. sitting down at his desk, instantly emailing a couple of people a little of the information he knew about hyungwon, almost like he was his assigned manager. a few people responded back after not much time, saying that they were interested in the boy and hoseok proceeded to reply with hyungwon's number.

it felt weird to give them information about hyungwon. the things the boy had shared with hoseok only the evening before. it felt like it was his and he wanted it to stay that way.

his eyes had kept on darting towards his phone like he was waiting for someone to call or text. but he quickly realized that he was building up courage to call the boy that was on his mind. having an excuse to call him now that he should tell him about the job offer, so wouldn't it be complete idiotic to not take it?

he tried not to notice how his hand was shaking as he picked up the phone. standing up from his desk to stroll around the room as he called the boy. needing something to do as he tried to distract his nerves.

"hoseok?" hyungwon's voice sounded low and thick, giving away that the boy probably just woke up and hoseok couldn't help but smile at it. "yeah hi, it's me. look i have actually already found a few people that would be interested in you, i already gave them your number so they'll probably call later in the week" he could hear how hyungwon silently chuckled on the other line. hoseok couldn't see what was funny about anything so he instantly started to worry if someone else was in the room with him, them being the reason for his laugh.

"hoseok that's great. thank you. but why are you working on a fucking sunday?" the way hyungwon said his name sounded absolutely wonderful. nothing like he had ever heard anyone talk, and instantly he compared the boy to when he was still in love with her. realizing how hyungwon was so different from her. how hyungwon made him only focus on him. it felt absolutely magical and he wanted more of it.

"to distract myself" hoseok held on tightly to the phone in his hand. scared of dropping it for some odd reason. "what do you mean?" hyungwon's tone sounded like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard, but something about it seemed like he understood him.

"don't think about it. it's not important" something that sounded like a thud could be heard on the other end of the line, hyungwon probably having thrown himself onto the couch or something and hoseok yet again adored it so much. adored how you could tell by his actions that he was still incredibly young.

also from the evening before. how he had been so closed off, shy and embarrassed. he wasn't used to things like that and it radiated off of him and hoseok knew that it was because of his young age.

"well if you need to distract yourself, why not just invite me out for coffee instead" it took a second for hoseok to realize that it had been actual words coming from hyungwon. having to part his lips and furrow his eyebrows as he checked the caller id, making sure that he was in fact talking to the right person. 

it was obviously an opportunity hoseok wouldn't want to miss out on, therefore smiling to himself as he nodded knowing hyungwon wasn't able to see him.

"fine. text me the details then"

-

as he drove into the parking lot connected to the cafe hyungwon had asked him to come to, his eyes instantly found the younger boy standing in front of the building. his phone in his hand, busying himself as he had been waiting for hoseok to arrive.

wishing he could've stayed inside the car for a few more minutes to just sit and admire hyungwon, but knowing it was weird and therefore getting out. trying not to seem too enthusiastic to see him again, his footsteps faster than usual and just a little lighter.

hyungwon looked up from his phone and instantly saw hoseok coming closer, turning off his phone and putting it back into his pocket as a smile graced over his lips. the usual plump lips turning into a thin line, his white teeth showing a little and it was all just beyond adorable.

the sun was shining almost directly onto hyungwon's face, his features suddenly so much clearer and hoseok couldn't stop staring at the way hyungwon's normally dark brown eyes were now such a beautiful caramel color. hoseok never let go of his eyes and never wanting to. he was drowning in them and it felt so wonderful.

completely drawn to the young boy. having convinced himself that he had no flaws, everything about him so incredibly perfect and beautiful. hoseok wanted him to be his. wanted to be the only one allowed to look at him. wanted to be the only one allowed to talk to him and the only one allowed to think about him. he almost wanted to touch him so carefully but kept his hands to himself as he came up to hyungwon.

the boy didn't seem like minded how hoseok kept the intense eye contact. he could've chosen to divert his eyes elsewhere, but he didn't. kept them on hoseok's like the older kept his on hyungwon's

hoseok wanted to tell the boy that he was absolutely beautiful, but didn't. afraid it would creep out the boy. 

"wow i actually didn't think you would agree" hyungwon chuckled a little as he threw his head down, a little tint of red covering his cheeks and giving away that he hadn't changed since the evening before, still quite shy. "why wouldn't i?" hoseok dug his head a little, a smile on his own lips as he tried searching for hyungwon's eyes. already missing them.

hyungwon lifted his head up, the smile never leaving and the tint on his cheeks only getting a shade darker. 

"i don't know. i just didn't think you would want to hang out with a kid like me?" hoseok only chuckled at him before giving a little squeeze to his shoulder, walking past him to open the glass door to the cafe, stepping aside to let hyungwon go in first. only a single step behind the boy. 

"do you want to drink the coffee here?" hyungwon turned his head towards the older, awaiting an answer as the queue wasn't very long and it would just be irritating to agree while ordering. hoseok only nodded his head a little, turning his head towards him for a second to smile at him. 

making it up to the counter, hoseok pulled out his card as he started leaning against the counter. hyungwon right besides him. 

after ordering and paying for it, hoseok went out to find somewhere to sit. hyungwon had volunteered to wait for the coffee and usually hoseok would have acted kind and taken care of it instead of anyone else, but as hoseok found out that he would be able to look at hyungwon without him knowing from somewhere in the cafe, he only nodded at the boy before walking off.

hyungwon had turned his back towards hoseok, giving him every chance he could to look at him. study him a little further. trying to find out why he was so drawn to him. why he made him want to look at him at every possible second and with every possible chance. 

he tried keeping the staring to a minimum, not wanting to scare hyungwon off, of course. but he realized he had been staring for too long when hyungwon turned around, possibly because he could feel hoseok's eyes on him, meeting hoseok's eyes that was located on him. even from the distance they were apart, hoseok could tell how his cheeks turned the darkest shade of red, the boy instantly turning around to not let him notice his embarrassment.

but their drinks were ready and hyungwon had to turn around again to find hoseok. sitting down on the chair in front of hoseok, sipping from his own drink as he listened to how hoseok slightly laughed at him.

"how much do i owe you?" hyungwon stuck a hand down the right pocket of the jacket he had thrown over the back of the chair, wanting to pull out his wallet but was stopped by how hoseok only shook his head. "don't think about it. it's my treat" the younger sighed for a moment before showing a smile. leaning further back into his chair and looking around the small cafe.

"so hyungwon. tell me a little more about yourself" like yesterday, outside that restaurant, hoseok didn't want to hold back on the questions. feeling the need to know every possible little detail about the boy. "like what?" the sounds from the cafe kind of ruined the silence that was between them for a few seconds when the other had finished talking. hoseok obviously finding it frustrating that it couldn't just be him and hyungwon, almost wanting to invite him over to the house while it was completely empty.

"i don't know, like the basics?" hyungwon hummed for a little, thinking about what he could answer before just going with the complete basics "my full name is chae hyungwon, you know my age, i don't know, i'm 183 cm tall i guess" hoseok only smiled at hyungwon. his heart fluttering by how he was so innocent. 

"maybe a little too basic. but may i ask, if you're minhyuk's cousin why is your name chae?" the younger chuckled lightly before taking another sip of his coffee, his eyes wondering off to somewhere else, and hoseok couldn't stop looking at him. "he's actually really a step cousin, my aunt got divorced a few times before completely settling" the way hyungwon would chuckle after every sentence was so incredibly nice to listen to.

drowning out every other sound of the room with that little low laugh. absolutely incredible.

hoseok only nodded as he took a sip of his own coffee, leaving hyungwon to speak a little more about himself.

-

after having finished up in the cafe, it had been a little later than any of them had expected it would. therefore hoseok offered to drive the younger home.

the boy didn't say much on the ride home, it honestly being a shame now that they were completely alone. having been able to just turn the volume of the radio all the way down if anyone had wanted to speak. but hyungwon seemed tired so hoseok didn't want to disturb his peace.

he only dropped him off at the apartment. hyungwon had smiled widely before waving at him, hoseok returning the wave as he watched hyungwon close the car door and make his way through the door to the apartment building. the light in minhyuk's apartment wasn't on, so hoseok stayed until he saw the light being turned on, indicating hyungwon got in safely and without problems. 

driving off to his own house, hoping that he was coming home before her. but because it had gotten way later than any of them had really expected, he didn't think the odds were too high.

there was light coming through the windows of the house and he instantly knew that she had come home. the thought of having to suddenly see her again after never having thought about her the whole day while being with hyungwon, was way too frustrating. he didn't want to see her. didn't want to talk to her. he was too exhausted to deal with trying at the moment he sat in the car out in front of the house.

debating whether he should drive into the garage, make her hear that he was there now, or if he should text her that he was going to come home way later and just find somewhere to sleep instead. 

if he drove into the garage, she would know that he was home and he couldn't turn around from there. 

but it was monday the next day and he had no other choice than to go home. parking the car and fishing for his keys to unlock the door. knowing that she had locked the door just to make sure that if hoseok hadn't returned before she went to bed, the door would be locked so no one else could get in.

as he took off his shoes, he could clearly hear a few sounds coming from the kitchen. stepping into the kitchen to find her placing the dinner on the table. she looked up to find him, a smile stretching onto her lips as she came to hug him.

he noticed how when she smiled at him, his mind instantly went to hyungwon again. how the boy at smiled at him through the whole day. he compared hyungwon to her and he knew that he could feel much better if he just owned up to her, got a divorce and tried to just have hyungwon around him instead. he didn't need a relationship with the boy. but he just wanted hyungwon around him.

she motioned for him to sit down as she found a pair of cutlery. she turned off the radio that had been playing in the background, leaving them to only themselves and hoseok fucking hated it.

she came to sit down, but stayed quiet for a while as she poured a little portion of food onto her plate, but cleared her throat and placed her hands on the table. her eyes finding his. 

"where were you today?" it wasn't the question he had expected. she seemed like she wanted to investigate him, but the question didn't fit how she was acting. it was a normal question she always would ask when he had been somewhere that he hadn't told her about. not because she didn't trust him, but generally just because she cared. obviously.

"i was just out drinking coffee with someone. you don't know him" hoseok sent her a little smile, reassuring her that there was nothing to worry about, but she still raised an eyebrow at him. it was easy to tell that she wanted to ask more about it, though she kept quiet and only ate her dinner. 

it had been harder over the few months to read her. to tell if she knows anything. if she realized how hoseok had changed.

it scared him. what if she was only waiting for him to confess. going every day, acting like she still thought that hoseok loved her but in reality knowing that there was no love left in the relationship. maybe that was his biggest fear. for her to know that everything was a complete lie.

hoseok had, after dinner, decided to turn on the shower. wanting to just drown his thoughts in the warm water. only the water's sound filling out the bathroom. and he had wanted to stay forever, even when the water would turn cold. because he was there alone and the warmth of the water gave him the company he needed, but even here, her slim arms wrapped around his waist.

he hadn't heard her come in and therefore turning around faster than he could register. her arms curled their way around his neck, her lips instantly finding his. the kiss continued and hoseok could feel how she became more restless. her lips finding his neck and hoseok hated it.

it felt wrong and he felt so uncomfortable. having to grip onto her waist and pull her away. not meeting her confused gaze. didn't say anything but left her in the shower.

he had to tell her soon. it was getting out of hand and he could tell how impatient she was getting.

**Author's Note:**

> this story is literally just named after son tung m-tp's You of Yesterday (which is a great song) so enjoy


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